Thursday, September 15, 2011

Dark Angel on the Bayou

Last night I saw an owl. He must have been about 2' tall. I was so excited, which my cousins couldn't understand. An owl is not something you see in Center City Philly. I crossed the street to try to see him better. We were sitting outside just talking and spending good and much needed time talking and connecting. About 1/2 hour later the owl flies over to the tree right by us. I walked over and we made eye contact. I felt this strong feeling of awe and respect. I kept thinking of the High Priestess. I just received my new Dark Angels Tarot deck and I freakin' love it! And that's what the owl looked like as it flew, a beautiful dark angel. So when I came inside I did a reading asking "what was the message from the owl?"
Justice (for me, I don't care what roman numeral is printed, it's always XI), 3 of swords, 2 of swords
I've never seen any positive side to the 3ofSw until now and I think the other two cards in this particular reading are why I can. The two I was with are siblings. They love each other dearly, but there have been a lot of serious issues that were extremely painful that have come between them and caused a lot of heartache, pain and regret. I have always tried to instill in them the extreme importance of the bond of siblings, so the Justice card I see as being me. I am always the peacemaker. They have both always told me how much they love and appreciate me because I am always honest with them and treat them fairly. Even when they were young children, I talked to and treated them with dignity and respect and I always tell them there are 3 sides to every story. So I see the angel on the 3ofSw as the same angel who is pictured on Justice. On Justice it shows when I am weighing the situation and how I can say what needs to be said without taking sides of being judgemental, or when I just need to shut up and listen. The 3ofSw shows when I have to get in their grill a little bit and let them know, don't b.s. me or play me stupid and do NOT lie to me or I'll jack you up! So instead of the 3ofSw meaning a negative outside party coming between two people, it shows when I have been the peacemaker. The 2ofSw shows the choice they both made to bury the hatchet, if only for last night.
I wondered when I was shuffling if the High Priestess II would come up and was a bit disappointed when she didn't, then turned over the deck. Last night, as we sat under a gorgeous moon only one day past full, The Goddess watched over us and in the form of an owl and I am so grateful for Her.

*A great resource for learning about animal symbolism is Avia Venefica's site.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Decisions, decisions...

I am so excited to be dreaming again. I used to dream in technicolor/3-D/Blu-Ray/surround sound and lucid! If I drifted off for more than 5 minutes, I was dreaming. Then I started taking some medication several  years ago and within 2 days, all that ended. I am not sorry I take the Rx because it has helped tremendously with my health. But I'm glad I didn't know that possibility before I started taking it because I may not have given how beautiful and often prophetic my dreams were. Since I've been back here in Louisiana for the past week I have dreamed every night. Not quite like I used to, but it's a huge start and I am so grateful for it!

I've been reading a lot about expanding your mind and brain power, alpha level sleep, and manifestation. I had a dream last night. I remember actually thinking to myself that I wondered if I was dreaming or traveling on the astral because I could physically feel myself lifting higher and the wind blowing past me. Next thing I know, I'm on an aircraft. In a middle seat and there is a pilot sitting next to me. I'm a flight attendant again and I am commuting. We push off the gate and they make the announcement that we are en route to Dulles International. I freak. I tell the pilot that I need to get off the plane. I am supposed to be traveling with my mom and I somehow got on the wrong aircraft. He kinda laughs and smiles and says I'll ask for you. He does, they say no, it's after pushback. I am so upset and nervous. Where is my mom? Will she be ok, she must be worried sick. How did we get separated? What the hell did I do wrong, was I not paying attention again and went the wrong way and now we are separated and she is all alone? The commuting pilot just smiles and says hey, you're here and you can't go anywhere. Being upset of feeling bad isn't going to get you off this plane, so let's talk and enjoy the flight.

I check my email this morning and get one that I am just about to erase. Something says no, read it. I do. It's from one of the best known self-help gurus from The Secret, Bob Proctor. It's an amazing audio about the ability to make decisions quickly and not give into fear of the unknown or lack of resources or money will either make you or break you in every aspect of your life. If you don't know me, let me just explain that me getting this is akin to Moses seeing the burning bush! He goes on to explain about programing and how we have to choose to make our own lives and NOT live for others. He quotes Oscar Wilde as saying, "Selfishness is not living the way you want to. It's asking someone else to live the way you want to." I instantly understand my dream. But I wanted to see how it would show up to me through the cards. Again, another bush on fire.

I chose to do 3 cards with the center one as the rock star and the other two the back-up singers and to use elemental dignities. The first card blew me away, The Empress III, the mamma card. The lead is the King of Pentacles and followed by the 2 of pentacles. Earth/earth/earth. Can you scream: security, grounding, fiances, safety, reliability. It's about having a very strong foundation from which to drawn strength, but a need for growth and flexibility. Capricorn can be so resistant to change it's ridiculous!! I also see how much water is on the two backup cards. This tells me that in reality I need to drink more water because when I don't my body becomes very stiff and my mind is not clear. And the need to ask which emotion is keeping me stuck, which one can help me be more flexible, move along and promote growth. The Kng of P is all about material success and having mastered being grounded, stable and having the means to be generous. (My life right now is about as stable as the San Andres fault!) He is clearly Bob Proctor who was represented by the pilot in the dream.  The Empress is my mom of course, but also me. Being back home in La. is really reminding me of how deeply engrained in Creole and Cajun culture it is to have a co-dependent relationship with our mothers until the day we die! And if you don't, you are so obviously a selfish ass and an all around bad son or daughter. Plain and simple, you totally suck. But a huge part of me knows how unhealthy this is. So when am I gonna cut the damn cord and choose to truly live for ME, what I want, not her? There is a whole world out there to explore (hence me going to Dulles Int'l in my dream and not National Airport)) and I must decide to rise above the limited way of thinking that has kept me from truly being the creatrix of my own life. I have to go my own way. That's why in the dream we were on two different planes. I see the heart of her face and her crown. My mother and I are always going to love each other more than words can express. We need to love our own selves more more than words can express. The 2ofP is saying that I so need to find balance and learn to make solid decisions. The crow is warning me that I really need to continue taking a long hard look at myself and to maintain a clear vision of who I am and who I want to be. And the chick on this card is one self confident woman with her own sense of style. I've always wondered why in the version we see on pentacle in the mirror but the other behind her back. This is reminding me of the other meaning of the card, to budget and save money.
 Change has always been hard for me, which is why I suppose Life has thrown so may extreme ones my way for the past few years. It's time for me to decide to embrace change and to trust my own decisions. The only way is to actually make them, get past the fear that I will not make the right one. Right now, I am decided to listen a bit more to Bob's teaching. But I challenge you to ask yourself how are your decision making skills and how can you improve them? What scary choices do you need to face and make? What can you choose right this minute as you read this that will give you a better quality of life? I've learned the very hard way that allowing fear to prevent you from making a choice, is itself a choice. Most often, it's not a real good one.

We Are All Made of Stars

(I have seen more signs and symbolism in nature in the past week than National Geographic! I am out in bayou country and out here it's not really that odd. But for this city girl, it is most definitely not the norm. And it's not like I'm outdoors for long periods of time. So I am taking them as messages for me, especially since I have been praying for signs on how to deal with the extreme stress I'm making my way through. In this post I will talk about only one of the many and that is the star. I was outside of the phone (NO reception on the cell!) and I was talking to a very dear friend who is also my trainer, giving her an update on what is going on with me. I was telling her how my cousin whom I adore was saying to me to keep the faith that my luck will change. He was like, "You made it out of town before Katrina hit when it had seemed like all hope was lost and you'd be stuck here, you'll make it through this!" (He just turned 20 today, the wise old sage.) I then said how much I needed to take that to heart, but as challenging as things are right about now, that was real hard to do. I turn around and my eye catches the most gorgeous, huge, falling star! It was breathtaking because out here the nighttime sky is like a sparkling diamond mine. My friend on the phone is an Aquarius, the zodiac sign associated with the Star XVII card. And the dilemma we were discussing is my needing to find a new apartment. The Star also means moving or changing residence.

The Star XVII is all about hope, joy, healing.  I remember years ago when I left my ex 3 days after he broke up with me on my birthday. At 04:28,  through a face full of snot and tears I saw a shooting star. I remember saying out loud to myself, "I don't know how, but I know everything is going to be ok." I called my best friend since 8th grade with no explanation, just sobbing and choking and told her I was I just getting onto I~95  and I should be there by 10:00. She just said, "I'll put the grits on the stove at 9:30 and spray the lavender sheet spray in your room."

That's The Star XVII card. It's It's your angles and guides showing you the way. It's the candle in the window. It's the light in the eyes of someone who loves and believes in you, even though you may not know that that light is not just their love but an actual reflection of what is inside of you. It's a mother's love, which is why I think on many versions of the Empress III she has a crown of stars like the Blessed Mother. It's being a leader, a shining example to others, to the world, a person of great integrity who has earned respect. It's having the courage to keep going when it seems like there is no hope, and yet... you still believe. In friendship, in yourself, in something greater than yourself. After all, Carl Sagan explained that everything on Earth is made up of the most minute particles of stars.

(a very cool version of the video. Lots of gorgeous pix of actual stars)

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Labor of Love

Wow.... being technologically challenged can be rough in today's world. But I am at long last up and running, YAY!!! I think it's pretty auspicious that this blog was created on Sept 1, which means during the sun in Virgo and the moon in Scorpio. The number 1 is all about new beginnings, starting new projects, initiation. Virgo is a great sign to work with business matters and paying attention to detail and organizing. Scorpio is perfect for anything dealing with the esoteric, mysteries, and sensitivity. I'd like to sincerely thank everyone who encouraged and helped.

"virgo" 150/365


The cards that come to mind are The Hermit IX, Death XIII, and all of the Aces (cards to be shown soon. I just want to get up the first post so I have a sense of accomplishment and completion)


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